Monday, January 11, 2010

Pregnancy. It ain't for sissies

Friday night I had a mini meltdown about being pregnant. Although I am so thankful for being pregnant and so far I've had a really easy time, it is just hard being pregnant for SO LONG! :) First of all, why does everyone say you are pregnant for 9 months, when really you are out of commission for 40 weeks? 40 weeks= 10 months. That math is some cold hard reality.

Reasons pregnancy is hard:
1. You are tired by 9:30 pm. Some people want to start their weekend nights at 9:30. I am ready to crawl into bed. This makes me sad.
2. No drinking. Enough said.
3. Baby talk. It is interesting that when you become pregnant that is all people can think to talk to you about. What did we talk about before I was pregnant? Lets relive those old times.
4. All the attention is on me. I don't like this. With a wedding at least you can divert some of the attention to your soon to be husband. But with pregnancy all eyes are on you, you, you.
5. You don't recognize your body anymore. This is weird. Some days it is fascinating that your body just "knows" what to do and makes room for this new baby. Other days I would like a flat stomach, clear skin, and not to feel the need to rub stretch mark lotion all over my growing belly.
6. Your mind is constantly full of thoughts of inadequacy: "Can I get through labor?" "Will I be a good mom?" "How will I know what the FUCK to do?" The last question is my major concern.
7. Unsolicited advice. Everyone you meet is the "lady who can get the crying baby to calm down." This just happened to me today at work. Okay, I will be sure to call you at 4 am to come over and get my screaming baby to sleep. Thanks.
8. Inappropriate questions. Are you going to breastfeed? For how long? Are you going to make your own baby food? When are you going to leave the baby for the first time? What are you going to do about the dog and the baby? Are you going to circumcise your son (um yes, I don't want girls telling all their friends about my uncircumcised son. And when their friends don't quite understand what "uncircumcised" means, a picture will have to be drawn of my son's penis. This is too humiliating. Circumcision will be done).

The meltdown was short-lived. Ryan hugged me. I went to yoga. Then we went to a high school basketball game and got some Starbucks. Living the life! :)

Ryan was really nice to me, I think mostly because I never cry and he gets pretty nervous when the tears start coming. :)

Of course I felt guilty that the little baby heard me talking about the challenges of pregnancy. I guess it's baby Vaughn's first experience with "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."


  1. one melt down in six months.. you are amazing.. everything will be fine, the babies penis will be fine, what you feed him will be fine, the dog will be fine..and I will teach you how to use the word fine... in everysentence... momma talk...whoops did you read about the balloon boy dad's going to jail ( that was suppose to be non baby talk)
    xoxo Mom

  2. sorry about my contributions to the inappropriate questions list.

  3. Oh Janie, you were not the one I had in mind--- STRANGERS ask me this question. Strangers want to know about the tiny penis in my uterus.

  4. Thanks, E. You're the best DIL I could ever ask for! Hope to see you at the book lecture tonight.


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