I am fully immersed in my yoga teacher training, more than half way done and I am tired. I am really enjoying the program, but I feel like I am gone all.the.time. We are so lucky to have our parents close to us who love watching Paul, and I have some cute teenager babysitters that love on Paul for a couple of hours during the week while I have to leave for yoga and Ryan is at baseball. I know Paul is fine, but I can't help feeling as if I am missing out on his life.
My mind is aware of the fact that Paul is only 11 months old and will have no recollection of me being gone, but sometimes when I am at yoga a little picture of him flashes in my mind and my heart swells.
When I get home on the weekends, even if I have only been gone 3 hours, I feel like he is different; bigger, taller, saying new words, showing off a new trick,
Mommy guilt is no joke. I'm proud of myself for working so hard in yoga, but I can't wait for some downtime with my sweet almost ONE year old babe!