Ordinary Day

Last week we started to potty train Paul (more on this later).  I was literally sitting on the bathroom floor for what seemed like hours, begging him to use the toilet.  My frustration level was quite high as I silently cursed every parent I know for not sharing how difficult this milestone can be. 

Some days with Paul are hard.  Like really hard.  Hard where I even contemplated going back to work full time because he was being so difficult.  But then I ran across this video.  And I cried.  Before I know it, Paul won't want to be my side every.single.second.of.every.single.day.  And he will start to want to hang out with his friends and have me drop him off two blocks before the mall so I don't embarrass him.  And he'll start to like girls and all of a sudden I won't be the only nice lady in his life.  And I will literally start to miss sitting on the bathroom floor negotiating M&M's for pee. 

It's just the ordinary days.  The simple moments.  The ones that don't get recorded on Instagram or blogged about.  The ones we almost forget to reflect on, as there are so many and so fleeting.  When my days get hard, I hope I stop to think that these challenges won't last forever.  I hope I remember the smell of Paul's sweet head mixed with my shampoo and sweat because he won't stop running around the house.  I hope I remember when he says he wants to snuggle, he really means he wants to lay directly on top of me.  And I hope I remember when he puts his hands on my face and says, "I really like you Mommy."  Even in the most challenging times, these ordinary moments add up to a pretty fantastic life.

I Didn't Die.

I made it through the entire day!  Last night was ugly as Ryan and I were both in tears.  The alarm went off at 5:00 am and I used every.single.minute to get myself ready and out the door.  Ryan and I tag teamed the entire morning and I felt like I worked a part time job before I arrived at my actual job. 

Things that helped:
1. I packed my pump, my school bag, and my lunch the night before. I even knew what outfit I was going to wear today so I didn't waste a single minute.
2. Ryan changed Charlie while I dried my hair and then got Paul up while I fed Charlie.  Teamwork people.
3. My friend from work had a Starbucks coffee waiting on my desk
4. My other friend had a Starbucks pastry waiting on my desk.  A latte and treat can do wonders for the psyche. 
5. I have received plenty of updates and pictures from daycare.
6. Lots of friends (and my mom) have texted or left messages to let me know they are thinking of me.  Seriously, people are so nice. 


It was nice to drive to work completely alone (Ryan does the morning drop off) and listen to the radio loud and have a bit of alone time.  My students were really kind and excited to see me, so that helped and I was busy which made the day go pretty fast. 

I am sad I could not cuddle my own sweet baby today, but I know he was fine and it will make tonight even better.  And I obviously deserve a glass of wine.  One day down.  Lots to go!

Don't Help My Kid Please

 One of the biggest challenges of parenthood is resisting the urge to do everything for my children.  I find myself doing this for a few reasons.  Sometimes I underestimate their ability.  Sometimes it is simply easier.  For example,  we can get out of the door faster if I don't have to wait 100 minutes while someone zips up their jacket.  Sometimes it is because Paul asks me to.  Over and over and over again.

Recently, I read this very interesting blog post about letting children figure out things for themselves.  The author argues that by allowing kids the ability to face challenges and then find solutions for those challenges, we are teaching them about the process of dealing with confrontation or obstacles for their future. 

I think this is an important point to think about.  Finding that balance between watching their very move and trying to anticipate every fall versus letting them run wild without any supervision.  Because honestly they are going to fall.  They are going to hurt themselves, some stupid girl will break their hearts.  They will have teachers and bosses and people they just don't get a long with.  But can we give them space to figure out some of this on their own?  So when they do fall down they know how to dust themselves off and try again. 

Operating Instructions

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The other day a pregnant friend told me she enjoyed reading me blog because it was real.  A very nice compliment I thought.  Because of my obsession of reading, I've devoured MANY parenting books, sleeping books, developmental books, etc.  Frankly, I haven't found one that I loved.  They are either too optimistic, or too hard to implement, or so far away from reality that no one can relate.  However, I think my search is over.  Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott is simply her journal about her son's first year of life.  Her circumstances were a bit different than mine.  She was a single mother at 35 and her son had some bouts with colic.  Nevertheless, she does an incredible job of documenting the intense love she has for her son while being completely honest of how hard the role of parenting is or can be.  In fact, one of my favorite parts is when she writes about suffering from sleep deprivation and fantasizes about putting the baby on the porch for the night to see if he could survive.  A natural selection experiment of sorts.  Obviously she did carry out this plan, but how refreshing to share in that moment of despair when you are thinking that if this whole parenting thing was meant to be, the baby would survive a night outside by himself.  

That is the whole thing about parenthood.  You are constantly trying to find that fine line between thinking your child is perfect and so smart and we are such a happy family, nothing can get us down versus I am Ashley Judd in the Ya Ya Sisterhood and I am driving in my convertible away from my four small children to have a psychotic break.  Some days it is truly amazing.  Your babies are listening to you, they are smiling and happy and give you the best hugs, even choking your neck a bit.  And some days you want to put them outside with the dog with a bowl of water and hope for the best in the morning. 

I hope you find that balance this weekend!  Happy Friday!

Sometimes....

Sometimes this parenting gig is hard. Actually, a lot of the time it is hard. Paul has tantrums when I give him the "wrong" sippy cup in the morning. Or when the "wrong" basketball team is playing on TV. Or when he wants to eat apple sauce with a spoon and I God forbid gave him a pouch. Sometimes he gets sad when he has to put on socks, or get in his car seat, or drink milk, or not hit the dog, or stop flushing the toilet 673 times. Sometimes he throws a fit when we have to get out of the bath, or stop drawing on the wall with crayons, or clean up his toys, or wear pants.
Needless to say, this toddler business is exhausting. But this article, 9 Things I Learned In The Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous, was helpful and funny! The perfect combination!