Weekend Recap- Some Fun and some Throwing Up!

Well it is Monday again!  How does that keep happening?  We had some good times this weekend and some throwing up in my car.  Not by me, which is good I guess.

Friday after work Ryan and I escaped for a date night.  We went to the Botanic Gardens to see the Chihuly exhibit.  It was cool, different, and looked amazing when it turned dark!

Then we went out to dinner based on a recommendation from our co-worker.  Joe has the best recommendations.  He first gave us a tip when we were in Sonoma/Napa and I still think about that meal.  Friday night was amazing as well and we drank wine (well some people drank whiskey) and laughed and laughed and laughed.

The next day Paul threw up.  In my car.  All over my yoga mat. And himself.  The fun was over. Charlie gave him the sickness (I'll tell you where Charlie threw up tomorrow) and of course I felt bad for him because he was STARVING but anytime he had a morsel of food he had to throw it up. Saturday looked mostly like this:

But actually it helped us hunker down and we both graded some papers and read books and cuddled both boys on the couch.  Charlie was sweet to him and gave him knuckles, high fives and hugs.  So this week we had two kids throw up.  PLEASE universe do not let Ryan or I got this bug.  Please.  Do you think that plea will work?

Sunday I got up and went to yoga.  The yoga studio is doing a "make your own challenge."  Did you know there are only 10 weeks until Thanksgiving.  Seems pretty crazy for me.  Anyway, the idea is to write an intention for the next 10 weeks, hang it on the wall to be accountable but to also encourage others with their goals.

Some people want to commit to going to yoga a certain amount of times or try new teachers or eat more smoothies.  Mine is to remove refined sugar from my diet.  I only watched the trailer for the documentary Fed Up and it scared me.  I don't think it would hurt to be more aware of what goes in your body, what all those "weird" ingredients are and since the movie clip compares sugar to cocaine, I think I should probably take a break.  But I am still drinking wine.  Because hello. You only live once!  And really the only reason I am writing this on here is so I'll feel bad sneaking chocolate chip cookies.  Or dark chocolate.  Wine and celery go together, yes?

Later in the day the neighbor boys asked Paul to come over to play which was SO SWEET but Charlie cried because he was not invited!  I love neighbor friends!

How was your weekend?

California Trip 2014!

Again, summer is my season.  I love the relaxed feel, the sunshine and of course the vacations!  We went to California with my family and the boys LOVED it.  The plane was really exciting (obviously), the sand tasted yummy (gross) and they were enthralled with the ocean! 

I was a little worried about the flight.  I knew Paul would be okay because he likes to watch movies and he is obsessed with planes.  I was right.  Charlie was our wildcard.  My friend gave me a leftover drink ticket which I promptly used to order a bloody mary.  Nothing can be that bad with vodka and tomato juice.  Again, I was right.

Charlie was just fine on the plane.  He bounced around from person to person and even fell asleep at the end.  We were feeling pretty proud of ourselves until we started driving through the mountains of Mendocino.  Then Charlie got carsick.  SIX times.  At one point I just sat in the back seat with a clean diaper under his mouth and told Ryan to just keep going.  We just had to get it over with.

However, once we were there is was a great vacation.  I love that little boys are thrilled to chase birds, throw rocks, and build sand castles.  The drive back was much more successful as in no one got sick and Charlie was a little more restless on the plane, but we made it out with little to no judgement from other passengers and I call that a win-win.

Thanks for my dad for taking all of these pictures.

Exploring! 

He is so blonde and so cute! 

The windup to play croquet.  In case you wanted to know what that looked like. 

Someone tries to keep up! 

Life is good! 

Sometimes all you need are rocks.  

Eating Sand.  Yum?

This is what you do to your big brother when he won't pay attention to you! 

A Funny Paul Story

I picked up the boys at my mom's house on Monday and as she was helping me get everyone in the car, this conversation occurred:

GRANDMA: Bye Paul.  See you Sunday for your birthday.
PAUL: Don't forget the presents!
GRANDMA: What do you want for your birthday?
PAUL: I want the monster truck thing that knocks people down.
GRANDMA: I don't know what that is?
ME: And you will be happy with anything anyone gives you.
PAUL:  Yes, Grandma.  I'll be happy when you bring me the monster truck toy.

Oh my.

Paul is THREE years old!

My first sweet born baby is already three years old.  He just got a hair cut and looks like Dennis the Menace (in a good way).  And acts like him too (again, in a good way.  Sort of).

I don't even know what to say about our Paul.  He talks constantly.  I mean constantly.  He narrates the car ride.  He tells me everything that is going on in his head.  He tells me what he believes Charlie is thinking.

One of his favorite remarks to me these days is after I tell him "No."  For example, as soon as he woke up this morning he wanted to play on my phone.  I told him NO since we were trying to get up, get dressed and out the door to daycare so his parents could go to work and afford the phone he desperately wanted to play with (dramatic).  Anyway, he said, "Mom don't say no to me.  Just say YES."  Oh.  If only it were that easy.

Sometimes Paul eats a lot and sometimes he eats nothing.  For whatever reason this is not a battle I fight that often and feel mostly over it.  If he is hungry he will eat, if not he will throw it on the floor, proclaiming that the dog is starving.

He likes to play with cars, cars, cars, and more cars.  He likes to pretend they are on top of mountains, and then he likes to crash them.  He likes any sort of ramp the cars can go over and sometimes he just lines them all up and pretends they are talking to one another.

His favorite place to hang out is under our dining room table.  He calls it his cave.  He brings some toys and stuffed animals under there and plays.

He likes his new doctor set from his birthday and enjoys giving check-ups and especially seems obsessed with giving people shots.  That's super.

He likes to paint and to color and pour glue on things.  He likes markers and marking on his hands and sometimes face.  He LOVES to be outside and to take walks.  He still talks about the pool and I am sure this summer we will be spending lots of time there.

This age is fun to watch him figure things out.  For example, my dad gave him some flashlights (yes, plural) for this birthday.  He loves to turn off all the lights and play "flash."  I was in the bathroom getting ready and he wanted to turn off the lights and play his beloved game.  However, he could not reach the light switch.  So he walked into the closet, carried two of my shoe boxes over to the light  and made a "ladder."  Smart.

In all honestly I am liking Paul more.  I know that sounds mean, but potty training threw off his whole routine and this kids thrives on order.  So when things get a bit messed up my sweet baby turns into a lunatic.  When we went to the doctor's office for his third check-up the doctor asked me if I had any questions.  I said yes, "Why is he such a jerk?"  She laughed and explained that the terrible twos are only a warning into the testy threes.  Super.  But ever since I called him a jerk to basically a stranger, his behavior has really improved.  He listens more and doesn't want to be in time-out.  He tells me how much he loves me, and wants to snuggle on the couch.  If this is what it takes to get him to mind, I am not above doing that again.

Paul's favorite observation is what a big happy family we are.  But we can not be that family if one family member is missing.  So if Ryan is at baseball practice, Paul will tell me, "I wish we could be one big happy family, but Daddy's not home."  And he says it in this really sad, defeating voice.  You would die.

Although challenging, Paul has a sweet soul.  He doesn't like when other kids cry or get in trouble.  He usually likes to do the right thing, and he certainly loves us.  But I think the person he loves the most is his brother.  To see them together will melt the hardest of hearts.  Paul gives him hugs and tells Charlie he loves him and tells Ryan and I that he really likes his baby brother.  When Charlie rolls over, Paul claps and tells him how proud of him he is.  It is so incredible.  I can't wait until they can play together and really destroy my house and nothing will ever be clean again, but maybe I can put my make-up on ALONE.  AND IN PEACE.  Here's to hoping.

Happy Birthday my Big Boy.  We love you! 

Ordinary Day

Last week we started to potty train Paul (more on this later).  I was literally sitting on the bathroom floor for what seemed like hours, begging him to use the toilet.  My frustration level was quite high as I silently cursed every parent I know for not sharing how difficult this milestone can be. 

Some days with Paul are hard.  Like really hard.  Hard where I even contemplated going back to work full time because he was being so difficult.  But then I ran across this video.  And I cried.  Before I know it, Paul won't want to be my side every.single.second.of.every.single.day.  And he will start to want to hang out with his friends and have me drop him off two blocks before the mall so I don't embarrass him.  And he'll start to like girls and all of a sudden I won't be the only nice lady in his life.  And I will literally start to miss sitting on the bathroom floor negotiating M&M's for pee. 

It's just the ordinary days.  The simple moments.  The ones that don't get recorded on Instagram or blogged about.  The ones we almost forget to reflect on, as there are so many and so fleeting.  When my days get hard, I hope I stop to think that these challenges won't last forever.  I hope I remember the smell of Paul's sweet head mixed with my shampoo and sweat because he won't stop running around the house.  I hope I remember when he says he wants to snuggle, he really means he wants to lay directly on top of me.  And I hope I remember when he puts his hands on my face and says, "I really like you Mommy."  Even in the most challenging times, these ordinary moments add up to a pretty fantastic life.

Friday Treats

Friday Reads:
This is guaranteed to make you laugh, How to Be a Perfect Parent in 5 Easy Steps... or Probably Never.  My favorite part is the chart.  

Dear Mom on the iPhone, I Get it.  I love this support of other parents, and doing the almost impossible of looking at the situation instead of judging an individual. 

Friday Eats:
Made this recipe on Monday that called for roasted broccoli.  Can you believe I had never roasted broccoli before?  So easy yet so good! 

Friday Picture:

My chunker baby, tummy time, and trying to get my friend Sarah to give me some advice on using the Moby Wrap.  What did we do before iPhones??


Friday Looking Forward To...
Meeting this new baby, and this lovely lady and her twins.  The play date is set for Tuesday morning.  That my friends, is a whole lot of PENIS.

Friday Video:

 

Someone can roll over!  

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend! 

Llama Misses Mama

Do you all know about these Llama Llama books?  They are so cute and funny and they rhyme. 
Llama Llama Misses Mama, is about Llama going to school for the first time.  Llama misses his mom while she is at work and gets really sad until the other animals rally around him and help him realize school is fun!

Paul has most of this book memorized since we have read it about a billion times.  But every time we get to the part where Llama realizes that Mama Llama has returned from work to pick him up, Paul always exclaims the words, "Mama Mama, you came back."  Then before he turns the page, he snuggles up to me and says, "Mommy, you're my baby." 

Love.  Every single time.

Here is a little clip of Paul "reading."  I pray everyday that he continues to love books as much as he does now! 

3 Months Old.

They say the days are long but years are short.  I am on the couch, with one boy being silent watching Little Einsteins, the other in his new outfit from Old Navy, sleeping sounding on his boppy.  My coffee is hot and my heart is in disbelief that my brand new baby is already three month old.  Three months to me marks the transition when they move from newborn who lays around all the time, to a baby that wants to do stuff.  He still loves to cuddle with me, but I can already tell my days are numbered.

We are spoiled with Charlie's disposition.  He is so sweet and hardly ever fusses and he is such a nice eater and sleeper.  I think he will be allowed to stay.

He has really found his hands, and every picture we take is blurry because he keeps waving his limbs around.  He also love to put his fists in his mouth.  If you are wondering if a baby can actually fit his entire hand in his mouth, rest assured that the answer is yes.  A side note here.  All these pictures on today's post are from my iPhone.  It is embarrassing and yet the truth that I have not taken ONE picture of Charlie on my good camera.  Not one.  This is 2nd child syndrome I suppose and I am sure I will be paying Charlie's therapist bill because of it.  

He still has a ton of hair and eyes are still blue.  I can't remember when Pauls' changed.

His thighs are really chunky.  The wrist rolls are still there.

He loves to laugh and talk and has started to blow bubbles and make raspberry sounds.  He watches his big brother around the room.  Paul has been requesting to hold Charlie more and more but he usually starts this request by trying to pick Charlie up from the floor by himself.  It is as frightening as it sounds.

Anything sweeter that a baby sleeping on your chest?

He doesn't love tummy time, but will tolerate it.  When he is on his tummy he tries to scoot forward rather than try to roll over.  He gets some momentum with these movements, so I think he will roll over on accident more than anything.

He loves to be swaddled at night, and I can't believe it can be comfortable since he is essentially sleeping in a TIGHT straight jacket, but I don't care since he is sleeping through the night.

Napping on Mommy's bed

I am back at work and although the pumping continues to be depressing in the book room, we are doing pretty well overall.  Charlie seems to like all the places he has to go while I teach, although my favorite days are when I am home and we can bum around in the morning instead of sprinting to get out the door. 

Charlie is a perfect addition to our family.  We couldn't feel more lucky that we get to wake up to his huge smiles in the morning.  Whenever he whines, Paul RUNS over to him muttering, "I'm coming Charlie, I'm coming."  Paul gives Charlie such good cuddles that it makes me nervous that he is going to suffocate him, but I know that those snuggles will soon turn to wrestling moves that I'll never understand, so I am appreciating this moment.

We love you so much Charlie.  Thank you for being part of us.


PS- who is ready for the Bachelor finale??????

Seventh Generation Baby Wipe Giveaway!

My sweet Paul will be three in just over a month.  I cannot believe that I will have a three year old.  Everyone is telling me that three is hard.  Like really hard.  Is this true?

Before you ask, no he is not potty trained.  Should he be?  Probably.  I told myself I wasn't going to worry about it until after Charlie was born.  Now Charlie is almost three months old, and I still don't want to worry about it.

Anyway, wipes are a very popular product in my house as we have two in diapers.  And I have two boys.  In addition to dirt diapers, they have a lot of boogers.  I hate the word boogers.  I hate that I am writing about them right now.  But you know who likes boogers?  Boys.  Especially two year old boys.  They come up at the dinner table almost every night.  But I digress.

We use a plethora of wipes everyday for booties, noses, hands, faces, and lord knows what else.  Recently I tried out a new brand of wipes from Seventh Generation.  I was intrigued because these wipes are free from fragrances, dyes, parabens, pthlates, and alcohol.  When I look at my babes, especially brand new Charlie, I can't imagine putting all that "stuff" on his innocent body.  Seventh Generation allows me to clean up the dirty work without the worry. 

The plastic package comes with a close able lid which is great because you can easily throw them in your purse or diaper bag or car.  The wipes are thin with the perfect amount of moisture.  Have you ever tried to wipe crusted macaroni and cheese off a toddler's face with a dry wipe?  Will not happen and will most likely end in tears.  From both of you.

The suggested retail price for  64 ct. of these wipes is $2.99 and they are available at Target, Whole Foods, Diapers.com, and Amazon.

The good news: 

Seventh Generation is providing a box of Free and Clear Baby Wipes to one First Baby Bump Reader!

To be entered for a chance to win, leave your best baby care tip in the comments:

Sweepstakes Rules:

No duplicate comments

You may receive (2) total entries from the following entry methods:
a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post
b) Tweet about this promotion including @SeventhGen and @babybumpmama and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

This sweepstakes is open to US Residents age 18 or older.  Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail.  Winner will have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

This sweepstakes runs from 3/8-3/15

GOOD LUCK!! 

 

This picture has nothing to do with anything, but look at those sweet boys! 

Disclosure: I received a stipend and complimentary wipes from Seventh Generation for this review.  However, all opinions are my own!

Baby Loves

The days I stay home are a little crazy.  It takes a special dance to maneuver between a toddler and a two month old baby.  Everything will be going perfectly fine, until Paul wants to eat lunch, Charlie wants to eat boob, the dog needs out, the doorbell rings, and I need to use the bathroom.  All at the exact same time.

Usually, I put Charlie in his swing at 1:00 pm and take Paul up for his nap.  He needs books and cuddles, and several "I loves yous" before he is satisfied to close his eyes.  Then I get downstairs and clean up the million cars and puzzle pieces and toy animals that are scattered throughout the house.  I wipe down the counters, maybe vacuum and restart the dryer for the 4th time.  Then I try to have one hour for myself.  To watch a Real Housewives, or read a book, or take a little cat nap.

But his weekend, after I got Paul down and rushed through my chores, I cautiously (and stupidly) took Charlie out of his swing and walked him upstairs.  I carefully laid him on our big bed and snuggled up next to him.  I smelled his sweet newborn head and listened to his breathing.  I covered us both with a blanket and let my eyes close.  I know alone time is important to regroup, recharge, and get ready for the next part of the day.  And I really try to follow that rule .  But I am never going to get a little baby who wants to snuggle again.  Before I know it, he will be jumping off furniture, running around my house screaming, demanding suckers and muffins for breakfast.  And as beautiful as those moments are, there is something so peaceful, so calming about a tiny baby that literally curls up in your nook and finds comfort laying his head on your chest.  These are the moments to remember.  To cherish.  When I let myself break my own rules, I find a little more love.

Friday Treats!

Friday Reads: 
In the theme of breastfeeding, I love this post about deciding to quit pumping.  Obviously breastfeeding is an emotional topic for everyone!

And everyone read this post and applaud Janet's dedication to breastfeed her twins.  I think it is difficult feeding one, I can't imagine tandem feeding two!  This post is so inspirational!

Friday Eats: 
I made this recipe for dinner this week and it was a big hit with everyone.  Or a big hit for Ryan and I since Paul has boycotted eating.

Friday Picture: 

My mom sent this to me when she was watching the boys while we were at work.  For some reason looking at this single picture solidified the fact that I have TWO children.  Crazy business.  This picture was taken right before Paul informed my mom he wanted to toot in her face.

Friday Shopping: 
I sent this shirt to Maureen with instruction to buy immediately.

Friday Video: 
My favorite big boy that loves reading! 

Right Now

I have red wine and a computer.  It should make a perfect recipe for blogging, but I am so freaking tired.  How do people do this?  The novelty of the working mom, still going to the gym, staying home and practicing letters with my toddler, all while breastfeeding my newborn is gone.  G-O-N-E.  Now exhaustion has set in.  I read somewhere, that if you want to be happier then you should wake up an hour before you have to in order to have some alone time, or do something you don't think you have enough time for.  Like writing.  But my alarm already goes off at 5 am.  Who can get up earlier?  It is a good idea in theory, since after we get home from work and put the kids to bed, I can hardly keep my eyes open to watch an episode of the Mindy Project.  But I don't think I can do it.

What I really set out to write about is breastfeeding.  How hard breastfeeding is.  I think about quitting every single day.  And then I feel guilty for thinking that every single day.  I breastfed Paul for three months as I struggled with milk production and really didn't know how to increase my supply.  Things are a little better this time but I still have a hard time making enough for Charlie.  Sometimes after he has fed for 25-30 minutes on the boob, he will still drink 3 ounces of a bottle.  And sometimes this bottle is formula.  And yes that bums me out a little bit.  My pregnancies are relatively easy, and I can get these babies out of my body fast and furious, but for some reason my boobs don't want to cooperate.  The best feeding Charlie and I have is first thing in the morning.  I am full, he can eat sleepily, and it is calm and satisfying for both of us.  From then on out it is a crap shoot.

And to add to the stress of the whole thing, I am back at work.  Pumping at work.  I would like to take a moment to virtually hug every woman who exclusively pumped for their child.  I mean when you see your nipples grow 4 inches in length as they get sucked out of any normal resemblance, you know your love your child.  I pump in our book room at school.  I have to drag a chair in there every time, and put a sticky note that says "occupied" on the door so some sorry male teacher doesn't walk in and get the flashing of their lives.  I can hear the copier and people talking right outside the door.  It is not the most relaxing environment one could create.  But it's the only option for right now.

Another thing that is hard is that I have 90 minutes off a day (I am a teacher and work 3 days a week).  In those "off" 90 minutes I need to plan for the next day, make copies, grade papers, meet with students, go to staff meeting, eat lunch, and maybe (if I'm really lucky) go the bathroom.  Pumping takes about 28-30 minutes out of this off period.  To say I can't get everything done is about the understatement of the year.  I leave work feeling like I didn't even experience my day.  I was running around so crazily that I hardly have time to stuff my "lose the baby weight" approved almonds in my mouth.

But every time I think about quitting, I start getting sad.  Ryan remind me that I felt just as guilty with Paul, but I don't seem to remember it like that.  Maybe because this is the last time I am going to do this.  Maybe because I wanted things to be a little different this time.  I don't really know.  All I know is that I've washed my pump parts and bottles for the third time today, and have packed that pump bag for work tomorrow.  I'm going to last at least one more day. 

2 Months Old

Well I am about 10 days late but I am pretty impressed I writing at all.  Two boys are so much fun but we are busy!

Our sweet Charlie boy is 2 months old.  As much as we are trying to appreciate the moment because we know how fast this can go (hello, Paul is almost 3), time is still speeding past me.  He is already so big and I know it is just going to get worse.  I probably should just pack his room up for college. 

Charlie is the sweetest baby in the world.  He is totally spoiling us and if I did want to have a third baby (don't worry, I don't) I would have one tomorrow because he makes it look so easy.  His hair still sticks straight up and I love it.  His eyes are still dark blue and his belly is nice and big!

We went to the doctor for his two month appointment and he was about 11 pounds, which is still not very heavy but a giant compared to Paul.  He had to get his shots and I made Ryan drive all the way home from work to go with us and of course he only cried for 23 seconds.  Sorry Ryan.  But not really.  I hate that stuff.

Charlie is a good eater and likes his boob and bottle equally.  I think we are pretty lucky because I've heard about babies who refuse the bottle.  I am not sure what these moms do when they have to go back to work??

Speaking of work, I had to go back this month which was obviously a huge adjustment.  Of course I was the only one who had a hard time, and Charlie did great.  He went to daycare for the first time and Jackie told me that she tried to put him upstairs away from all the toddlers to take a nap.  But he wouldn't sleep.  When she brought him down in the midst of all the chaos, he slept like an angel.  Maybe because he is used to a high pitch screaming, trucks crashing, jumping on the couch environment. 

I hate to write about sleep because I know once you write about it, the sleeping gods screw with you.  But we have been really lucky in this department too.  For the last two nights Charlie has slept the entire night 9-5:30 ish.  Today I didn't have to work, so when he woke up at 5:30, I gave him his pacifier and brought him in bed with me and he slept for another hour.  Until his brother woke up, hopped up on my bed and started jumping scaring me to death that he was going to jump right on top of the baby.  Just getting that adrenaline pumping before 7 AM. 

He does like his pacifier but I don't give it to him at bedtime.  I don't know how we did that, but I am thankful because I don't want to keep putting that thing back in his mouth every second at night.  

The brothers are really sweet together.  Just a few minutes ago Paul told me to go away because he wanted to snuggle with his brother by himself.  Charlie just follows Paul around with his eyes and Paul is much more into his brother then I thought he would be. 

Charlie is really smiling and laughing and talking.  I just love the baby talk.  He really thinks he is saying some important things.  He loves laying on his activity mat and reaching for the animals.  He is getting better at tummy time, he will lift his head and look around, but he also just likes to lay down and take a little nap.  Lazy baby.

He is on a good schedule.  I am a schedule kind of person.  I tried not to be, but it is who I am .  I also tried to be a bassinet in my room kind of mom.  Guess what?  I"m not one of those either.  Charlie is in his crib and I turn off the monitor and just wait until I can hear him.  This just works better for me (I would say us, but Ryan literally cannot hear that baby cry in the middle of the night for the life of him).  Anyway, he eats the first time between 6-7 in the morning and then again at 9, 12, 3, 6.  His last bottle is at 9 right before going to bed for the night.  We do the whole eat, play, sleep routine and it works well.  His naps aren't perfect but his best nap is from 1-3 ish in his swing.  This works well because I put him in his swing and take Paul up for his nap.  Then I usually can have at least an hour to myself.  To watch the Kardashians on my DVR.  Big things happening here.  

He does like his pacifier but I don't give it to him at bedtime.  I don't know how we did that, but I am thankful because I don't want to keep putting that thing in his mouth every second at night. 

Some days are hard.  And long.  And sometimes I dream of day drinking mimosas and bloody Marys or reading all day or taking a nap whenever I please.  But then I see my two sweet boys loving on each other and I couldn't feel more grateful.  But honestly, time needs to freeze.  These wrist rolls and chunky thighs won't last forever. 

Holding hands.  I die. 

I Didn't Die.

I made it through the entire day!  Last night was ugly as Ryan and I were both in tears.  The alarm went off at 5:00 am and I used every.single.minute to get myself ready and out the door.  Ryan and I tag teamed the entire morning and I felt like I worked a part time job before I arrived at my actual job. 

Things that helped:
1. I packed my pump, my school bag, and my lunch the night before. I even knew what outfit I was going to wear today so I didn't waste a single minute.
2. Ryan changed Charlie while I dried my hair and then got Paul up while I fed Charlie.  Teamwork people.
3. My friend from work had a Starbucks coffee waiting on my desk
4. My other friend had a Starbucks pastry waiting on my desk.  A latte and treat can do wonders for the psyche. 
5. I have received plenty of updates and pictures from daycare.
6. Lots of friends (and my mom) have texted or left messages to let me know they are thinking of me.  Seriously, people are so nice. 


It was nice to drive to work completely alone (Ryan does the morning drop off) and listen to the radio loud and have a bit of alone time.  My students were really kind and excited to see me, so that helped and I was busy which made the day go pretty fast. 

I am sad I could not cuddle my own sweet baby today, but I know he was fine and it will make tonight even better.  And I obviously deserve a glass of wine.  One day down.  Lots to go!

Don't Help My Kid Please

 One of the biggest challenges of parenthood is resisting the urge to do everything for my children.  I find myself doing this for a few reasons.  Sometimes I underestimate their ability.  Sometimes it is simply easier.  For example,  we can get out of the door faster if I don't have to wait 100 minutes while someone zips up their jacket.  Sometimes it is because Paul asks me to.  Over and over and over again.

Recently, I read this very interesting blog post about letting children figure out things for themselves.  The author argues that by allowing kids the ability to face challenges and then find solutions for those challenges, we are teaching them about the process of dealing with confrontation or obstacles for their future. 

I think this is an important point to think about.  Finding that balance between watching their very move and trying to anticipate every fall versus letting them run wild without any supervision.  Because honestly they are going to fall.  They are going to hurt themselves, some stupid girl will break their hearts.  They will have teachers and bosses and people they just don't get a long with.  But can we give them space to figure out some of this on their own?  So when they do fall down they know how to dust themselves off and try again. 

Operating Instructions

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The other day a pregnant friend told me she enjoyed reading me blog because it was real.  A very nice compliment I thought.  Because of my obsession of reading, I've devoured MANY parenting books, sleeping books, developmental books, etc.  Frankly, I haven't found one that I loved.  They are either too optimistic, or too hard to implement, or so far away from reality that no one can relate.  However, I think my search is over.  Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott is simply her journal about her son's first year of life.  Her circumstances were a bit different than mine.  She was a single mother at 35 and her son had some bouts with colic.  Nevertheless, she does an incredible job of documenting the intense love she has for her son while being completely honest of how hard the role of parenting is or can be.  In fact, one of my favorite parts is when she writes about suffering from sleep deprivation and fantasizes about putting the baby on the porch for the night to see if he could survive.  A natural selection experiment of sorts.  Obviously she did carry out this plan, but how refreshing to share in that moment of despair when you are thinking that if this whole parenting thing was meant to be, the baby would survive a night outside by himself.  

That is the whole thing about parenthood.  You are constantly trying to find that fine line between thinking your child is perfect and so smart and we are such a happy family, nothing can get us down versus I am Ashley Judd in the Ya Ya Sisterhood and I am driving in my convertible away from my four small children to have a psychotic break.  Some days it is truly amazing.  Your babies are listening to you, they are smiling and happy and give you the best hugs, even choking your neck a bit.  And some days you want to put them outside with the dog with a bowl of water and hope for the best in the morning. 

I hope you find that balance this weekend!  Happy Friday!

The Very Best Friends A Girl Could Ask For!

Last weekend Maureen arrived from Texas, Tori arrived from Vail and their only mission was to make my life easier.  They did.

Here are some highlights of what these two did to help make life with a newborn and toddler a bit more tolerable.  Please take notes.  

• They took Paul on many "adventures" to the grocery store, Starbucks, etc.  Paul loves his mom and doesn't always want her out of his sight.  But when the word "adventure" is used, he can usually be persuaded to leave me.  I am sure the promise of hot chocolate did not hurt either.
•  They made us many meals.  MANY meals.  They are all frozen in my freezer.  They have directions on them.  They are tasty.  I did not make them.  I don't have to think about what is for dinner.  It is AMAZING.
• They brought wine.  Enough said.
•  They literally drove my children around so I could have the house to myself for ONE WHOLE HOUR. 
• They stayed up to do the first feeding so my husband and I could go to sleep together.  Incredible.  
•  They helped me figure out the baby Bjorn and took a walk with a newborn and 2 1/2 year old.  This was no easy task.  Especially when the 2 year old insisted that he take his lawn mower on the walk.  And then decided half way through he didn't want the lawn mower.  So your friend carried the lawn mower for the rest of the walk.
•  They rented Magic Mike and sat on the couch with wine and horrified looks on their face. (Seriously- how was that a movie?)
•  They played trains, cars, puzzles, kitchen, and God knows what else with your toddler. 
•  They held the baby so I could eat dinner with BOTH hands.  
• They told me what a great job I was doing.  Even when I was unsure. 

I don't have one picture from that weekend, except a picture of a meal they made.  But trust me- if you have a new baby you should hire these two. My words alone cannot express my gratitude.  I am sure that both left exhausted and thankful that their houses are clean and their televisions are not constantly running an episode of Mickey Mouse.  They were the perfect amount of distraction and help that was conveniently timed with Ryan's return to work.  I am so lucky to have friends like I do.  Please come back.

Charlie- One Month

I can't believe that my sweet baby is already a month old.  Just like anything, some days seem really fast and other days I can't believe it has only been a month.  Such is life with a newborn I suppose.  I am about 99.9% sure that this is our last little babe.  In that sense it has been a little easier to get up in the middle of the night because I tell myself this is the last time I will do this.  And I am a little more aware that everything is just a passing phase.  I remember thinking with Paul that I was NEVER going to sleep again.  I know that I will.  I hope.  Although yesterday I did have myself a little "I'm so tired" breakdown.  Sleep deprivation is no joke.

Overall, Charlie is a very calm and content baby.  He likes to be held and likes when we talk to him and he only really cries when he is hungry or needs a bit of attention.  It is a little hard to give as much undivided attention to Charlie as we did with Paul.  With Paul we would lay him on our bed and stare at him for an inappropriate amount of time.  It is hard to do that with Charlie because of a demanding two year old.  Hopefully we are not creating any permanent psychological scarring.

 Listening to Mommy go on and on about something

Charlie still has quite a bit of hair and some of it sticks straight up and will not be tamed.  I like it.   Everyone keeps telling me it is going to fall out.  Is this true?  Paul had no hair so I have no experience in this arena.  I can tell you that my hair is falling out rapidly, never mind the prenatal vitamins I am pounding.

I just reviewed Paul's first month post to see what I wrote about the sleeping situation.  Guess what?  I wrote nothing.  I am guessing because it wasn't going very well and I didn't want to remember.  Foolish.  Charlie gets his last bottle of the night at around 9:00.  He goes down relatively easy and then he up again around 12-1.  He goes down easy again and then it is a crap shoot for the rest of the nice.  Sometimes he is up at 2:30.  Usually 3:00.  However last night he didn't wake up again after his 12:30 feeding until 4:35.  After the second feeding I bring him in bed with us.  This is probably not a good habit, but I can't seem to stop myself.  So in conclusion, we are tired.  And something else to add- "how is he sleeping?" seems to be every stranger's favorite question.  If he is sleeping well then they get mad because their child, or grandchild, or cousin, or whoever never slept.  And if he is not sleeping well, then they have the answer of how to get some slumber.  How about a simple congratulations on the baby and move the hell on?  Thank you.

Sleeping here with a popped collar

Charlie has been smiling more and it is amazing the things you will do and say to get the boy's lip to turn upward.  My voice becomes high and squeaky and ridiculous.  But it is the sweetest thing in the world to see him smile.  It gives you a little validation that feeding him every three hours and waking up all the time is beneficial.  However, capturing this smile seems to be quite the challenge.  That doesn't stop me from trying!

 

Almost a smile... 

So happy! 

Paul has adjusted to the new person in our house.  I will say the first week was rough.  He told Ryan he didn't want to be friends anymore, he was crabby, clingy, and desperate for our attention.  He is doing so much better!  He now finds Charlie's pacifier when he cries, likes to hold the baby's hand, tickles his tummy, and says "goodnight Charlie."  Paul continues to be fascinated with breast feeding and I hope the obsession stops soon because it is getting a little uncomfortable.

My sweet big boy

"Playing" with Charlie

Finally, having a newborn is not that hard.  Having a two and a half year old plus a newborn is very hard.  I feel spread a little thin, my house is DIRTY (which is new for me), I feel like all I do is laundry, and I can't tell you how long it takes me to shower, get dressed, put on make-up, and get out of the house.  Because of that, showers are few and far between and I don't know the last time I've put on a full face of make-up.  But we have two sweet boys who are healthy and happy.  I know we will all adjust and maybe I'll just get used to my house having a layer of dog hair on it.  I also know I have plenty of reasons to feel blessed and lucky and even when I'm overwhelmed, I also feel absolutely grateful for my two little men.  

The pictures are too much!

Happy one month birthday baby Charlie.  We can't wait to see you grow and learn!